Crush
by Jo-Lawliet
Summary: Light falls for the campus' mysterious and popular boy, Rue, but can the school and their families accept it? Yaoi LxLight. Rated M!
1. Light

"Come on, Light, not even once?" my friend Kei asked me.

"Nope, not ever."

"Dude, you're still a virgin? We're in college now! You need to get rid of that" Yuri, another of my friends said.

"What's the rush? Sex isn't going anywhere, so why do I have to?"

"No, the question is: what are you waiting on, man? Look at these females here. Women- no more high school girls! These are women who know what they want and how to please a man. I would love to be in your shoes, I'm tellin' ya'. All the girls like you but you just brush them off...you're not gay are you?" Kei asked inquisitively.

"No! No. No. I just have better things to worry about right now. Girls are great, don't get me wrong. I'm just more focused on-"

"-Getting into the Police Force like you're dad." They said in unison. Do I say it that much?

"You got it. So guys if you know what I will say, why do you continue to ask me time and time again?"

Yuri shrugged his shoulders. "Wishful thinking? I dunno. Hoping one day you might change your mind and start hooking up with some fine chicks and we get their friends. You know how it goes" he said while Kei gave him a play.

I shook my head. "You guys are too much...Hey, I gotta book it. I'll see you guys later. Are we still on for the South Hall Party?"

"Hell yea! Why wouldn't we go?" Kei said.

I smiled and continued to Study Hall the one place I didn't want to be right now. People always ask me why I study, like I'm a genius or something. Its hard work being this smart; mostly because of the pressure and expectations of others, and sometimes because of the pressure I put on myself. Other than that, everything's pretty cool, a little repetitive but I have to keep up on my studies regardless, if I want to achieve my life's goals.

When I got there, I took my usual seat in the back near the window. I love the view out onto the front lawn. I love the color the setting sun shines onto the grass, makes it look golden. I smiled and opened my calculus book and got down to business. I had a huge test coming up soon and I wanted to be ready for any and everything that may be on it. I'm not settling for a simple A. I never have.

Well into my study I heard someone behind me. "Hey Light."

"Oh,hey Aoi. How's it going?"

"Oh. Everything is fine. How are you?" she said. Aoi Katsura is in my criminology class. We really hit if off in a friendly sense because we had a lot in common as far as the police force. She wanted to join too, just like her mother.

"Good, just studying as usual. Is that what you're here for?"

"Um-kind of. I was going to ask if you wanted to study with me...you know for the test coming up?"

"Yea, sure, that sounds fine." I had already studied as hard as I could for the criminology test that was also coming up but a little more wouldn't hurt. I started to put my calculus book away but Aoi stopped me.

"Oh, no. Don't put your books up. I can wait for you to finish what you were doing. I don't mind at all."

"Are you sure? It's fine if I stop-"

"No. I have to do a little studying for science. I can do that while you do math." she said with a gentle smile. I smiled back at her and opened my book back up.

After about 30 minutes of that I told her I was ready when she was; that I could finish when I got home. She said OK and we got started, talking here and there, and studying well into the evening.

I threw my bag in the back seat of my car and started the engine. "You sure you don't need a ride home?" I asked Aoi.

"Nope, I'm OK. I'm catching one with my friends but thanks anyway...See you later?"

"Yea, bye." I said as I closed the door and pulled off, heading home. My mom thought it would have been more convenient if I stayed on campus but I really didn't feel the need. I would get to all my classes on time and without worry, she was just being a mom. I couldn't stand the bunking with a roommate, the loud hall parties, or the easy access anyone would have to me. I love being able to close and lock my door with people around who _knew_ not to bother me.

"Look what the garbage man just dropped off," My little sister Sayu said.

"Very funny, dweeb. Where is everyone?"

"Dad went back to headquarters and mom is at the store picking up dinner. How was school, Mr. College?"

"Same as usual; no big deal."

"Says you. I can't wait to get to college! I bet there are so many parties and things going on...you probably won't ever attend any though."

"Whatever. I'll have you know I'm going to a party later tonight at one of the most popular dorms at school. So what do you have to say about that?"

"How much did they pay you?"

I threw one of the pillows on the couch at her and she giggled. A couple minutes later, mom walked in with two huge grocery bags in her hand; I got up to help her.

"Thank you Light...how was your day at school?"

"It was fine, Ma; want me to help you with dinner?"

"No, its fine; I already have one helper. You go upstairs and study. I'll call you when everything is ready."

I said OK, kissed her cheek, and went upstairs. When I got in my room, I threw myself on the bed. Rest.

I haven't relaxed all day, of course that's my fault anyway. I was thinking about what I was going to wear to the party tonight. I had about 4 hours to think about that but I liked to be prepared. It took me a minute but I got up and walked over to my closet.

"What will it be...?"

It wasn't exactly a dressy kind of party but I couldn't help but dressing my best during social functions-I guess you can call me conceited. I took out my black long sleeve 'button up' and my gray graphic dress-vest. I chose some gray-blue jeans and some black dress-casual shoes to complete my look. Well that ate up about 25 minutes of my time and now I was back in the mood to study, at least until dinner time.

"Light! Dinner's ready! Come and eat."

I stuck my pen in the book and closed it. Dinner- I was starved, well not really. I had a snack while I waited but when it comes to my mom's cooking...I'm starved.

"What took you so long," Sayu whispered," up there having some private time?"

I gave her a disturbed look and stepped on her feet.

"OW!"

Mom and Dad looked at her; she smiled and turned back to me. "Jerk!"

I giggled and got started on my food. "Hey, Dad when did you get in?"

"Um...about 10 minutes ago. You didn't hear me? I called out to you."

"Nope, sorry; I was studying."

"As usual. So, how is school anyway?"

"As good as school can be dad, nothing new or surprising."

"You always say that. Why aren't you excited about anything?" Sayu added. She can be really annoying sometimes.

"There are things I get excited about; school just isn't one of them."

"Maybe you're not being challenged." Mom said.

"I'm being challenged enough mom, trust me." I half lied.

"Well, please speak up. You know you can transfer to a better school...you can transfer to ANY school for that matter." She smiled to herself.

"It's cool. I'm fine where I am."

"Still trying to get into the academy?" Dad asked.

I smiled at him. "Sure am. I'm not giving that up. I know I can do it...and with your help it would be even easier." I hinted.

"I got it. Don't you worry about that, I'll help you. But just because your father is the chief doesn't mean you can just slack off. If I think you're loafing around I won't help you. Got it?"

"Yea, dad I got it. I'm not going to bum out on this one...I swear."

"Good to hear...now that we have the job discussion out of the way. Let's talk about a nice girlfriend to bring home to your mother and me-

"And me!" Sayu said.

"-and your sister...you barely talk about girls- what going on? No nice young ladies at the university?"

"Dad, girls can wait. I have better-"

"Nonsense! Don't start with that I have better things to do stuff. A man needs the help and support of a woman to keep him going on. I wouldn't have made it this far without your mother's encouragement. You wouldn't believe how many times I wanted to give up but she was right there behind me."

"Wow, really? I never would have guessed."

"Well there was never a reason to bring that up until now."

"You were really going to give up?"

"Yep, I was going to call it quits a couple times, couldn't keep up or couldn't take the pressure. But Sachiko convinced me that I was not only good enough to keep up with the others but had the potential to surpass them. I never stopped believing in her and that's what kept me going."

"That's beautiful." Sayu said as if Hideki Ryuga said it instead of dad.

My parents smiled to each other and I slightly got sick. 'Old people love' is gross but still, what dad said stuck to me. Would that be true for me? Would I need a woman to hold me up and help me through my hard times? Could I do it myself? I didn't know why but Aoi's face popped in my head.

Maybe she's the one.


	2. South Hall Party

After dinner I hurried to get my bag together. Kei wanted me and Yuuri to meet him at his dorm since he was the only one staying on campus. Yuuri had his own apartment just off campus, so I swung by his place to pick him up.

"You ready for this?" He asked.

"Oh yea. A little partying will definitely be good for us."

"Especially you Mr. Study...are you gonna pick up any girls while you're there?"

"Yea sure. Why not?" I replied thinking about my dad's comment earlier. I hoped Aoi would be there. She might not though; she doesn't seem like the partying type. Neither am I for that matter so who knows, she could be there.

Yuri and I talked while on the way to Kei's dorm. When we pulled up he was standing outside talking to a girl.

"Whoa! Who is that?"

I couldn't see her face well so I didn't know who she was. I grabbed my bag and followed Yuri out of the car; he bolted over to Kei and his lady friend. Upon closer inspection I realized that the girl was Kiyomi Takada. She was pretty popular around the school, but I didn't pay that much mind to her.

"Hey Light, How are you?" she said.

I put on a smile. "I'm fine Ms. Takada, how are you?"

"I'm fine but please don't call me Ms. Takada. I hate that. Kiyomi is fine."

"If you say so...Kiyomi."

She blushed a little and I smiled inwardly. Girls are funny that way, well at least the girls I'm around. A guy, like Yuri, can be head over heels for them and they barely notice him. But a guy like me who has little if no interest in them, they fall all over for. I never understood that.

"Are you going to the party tonight?'' Kei asked her eyeballing me. I knew what he was thinking. He wanted me to hook up with Takada so he can get next to her friend Shiori, he's helpless.

"Yea. I'll be there. What about you, Light? I hear you don't party much."

"No, I don't but I'll be at this party. I'll see you around?" I walked away without hearing her response. Now Yuri can have a nice little conversation with her. In Kei's room I threw my bag in his chair and laid on his bed, still thinking about what my dad said. I was so deep in thought I didn't hear the guys come in a short while later.

"What's up with you Light? You just completely brushed Takada off like last week's news. What's that about?"

"I didn't brush her off. I was just ready to get inside and get ready...or at least chat with the fellas a minute. Is that a problem?" I said trying to play it off.

"Yea. I guess that's cool but we have about an hour to get ready for the party. How come you're not dressed?"

"Please don't tell me you're wearing that there-"

"No, of course not. I just didn't want to mess my up my outfit."

"Anal." Yuri coughed. I shrugged him off.

"Whatever. You just make sure you can step up. You know how much of a bomb you are when it comes to dressing, like this ensemble for instance, that won't match up to my outfit. Looks like I will be the one with a pocket full of numbers. All the while the only things you'll have in your pockets are your hands."

Kei died laughing at my joke, Yuri didn't take so well with that.

"Whatever you model wannabe. I'll do more than keep up. You watch."

I laughed at him although this was just a joke. I will accept the numbers, but no one said I would call.

Time ticked away and before I knew it, it was party time. I was dressed and actually excited. This was technically my 1st college party even though the year was half way over with. All the other times I was asked to go to one I brushed it off. Didn't really want to.

I checked myself one last time in the mirror...not too bad.

"Come on man! Stop primping like a girl. Let's go."

I "primped" a little more before running out the door, locking it behind me.

As soon as we got there I knew I would have a good time. The atmosphere so laid back, well at least to me. I was expecting to see people hanging from the light fixtures, strip dancing on tables and so on but I was wrong. The music wasn't too bad, as in loud, and people where mostly relaxed. I noticed a huddle of girls on the far left side but kept on going, if Kei or Yuri said something about them then I'd go over there but I'm not making it my business to approach a girl...unless Aoi was here.

"Want a beer?" Yuri asked me.

I shook my head no and grabbed a handful of potato chips from a bowl on the food table.

I've never drank anything before and I never will, it's just not my thing. Not to mention I'm not old enough to drink. Yuri shrugged and passed a beer to Kei's outstretched hand. Right after that a couple of girls walked by and the two of them looked at me. I sighed and nodded towards the girls. We caught up with them and started talking. They told us that they went to our school and were sophomores. The girl I was talking to-Miki- was cute. She had long brownish black hair that flowed down her back , big brown eyes, and lips that I found a little hard to ignore. After we finished chatting with them and got their numbers, they headed off.

"Wow Light I thought you were going to leave us hanging again, way to go." Kei said.

"Our Little Light is growing up." Yuri said. I elbowed him.

"Its not that big of a deal, and hello guys, I am a guy, I do like girls."

"Never knew that." Kei said. I elbowed him too and we started laughing.

About an hour into the party a girl walked up to me and asked me to dance, I told her yes and we hit the dance floor. Now I may not do a lot of dancing but I do have a little rhythm. I was a bit nervous at first but I began to relax and enjoy the vibe. I noticed Kei coming to the dance floor with another girl; I looked around for Yuri but didn't see him. I raised an eyebrow at Kei but he shrugged and kept dancing with his lady friend, as did I. After about 3 or 4 songs I walked off from the girl...Rena I think her name was, after I got her number as well. I saw that huddle of girls again and wondered what was going on.

"You see that too?" It was Yuri.

"Yea...but hey where did you go?"

"I was around dude, what are you my mom now?"

"Nah just was a little freaked for a minute...no big deal. But what's going on over there?"

"I can't see what going on, wanna go check it out?"

"Yea." I looked towards Kei, he was still on the dance floor, and nodded towards the group. He put two thumbs up and continued to dance. He had a different girl from the last time. I laughed and shook my head.

Whatever was going on over here sure had these girls interested. They we so close together, it made it hard to get close enough to see what they were looking at.

"Hey!" one of them said.

"I'm sorry."

"Are you his friend?"

"Who's friend?"

"Huhn, well if your not a friend you need to move! I can't see!"

"Shhhh!" another said.

What was going on? I could hear a deep voice, hopefully a guy, talking and girls giggling.

"Hey Light. Yuri. What are you guys doing?"

"Uh, nothing. Ms Takada-"

"Kiyomi."

"Yea, that's right. Sorry."

"I see you made it." I said, just trying to make general conversation.

"Yea. Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Yes, I am actually. What about you?"

"I am too, but...I was just wondering if you...would you like to dance?"

I knew that was coming. "Sure." I looked back at Yuri. He was pretending to wiping tears from his eyes and mouthing 'so grown up'. I put my middle finger up at him and continued to the floor. Again.

Kei wasn't there anymore so I assumed he was off with another chick.

Kiyomi pushed herself closer to me and swayed slightly to the music. "Is this OK? Or, am I too close?"

"No, no you're just fine." I said going along with it.

We danced together for a few more songs before her friends and mine pulled us away from each other. "I'll see you around Kiyomi."

"Yea." She said with this dazed looked in her eyes. I laughed to myself.

"Hey, dude. Guess who I just saw?"

"...OK...?"

"Aoi dude. She was wondering if you were here."

My mood went up after hearing her name. "Where did you see her?"

"Upstairs on the west balcony."

"I'll be right back."

"Oh, no you don't- we are coming with you."

I sighed. "Who was she with?"

He smirked "Dunno but they sure were cute."

So helpless. I headed upstairs to find Aoi.

She was sitting on a couch with three other girls. Two I recognized; the other I didn't.

"Didn't think I would see you here." I said from behind her.

"Oh, Light...Hey. I didn't think I would see you here either."

"Well I don't usually come to things like this-"

"Me either-"

"Yea...are you having fun?"

"Yes. Surprisingly. You?"

"Yea, lots."

One of her friends cleared her throat, loudly. "Oh, I'm sorry. Guys these are my friends, Haruka, Kana, and Mai. This is Light, Kei, and Yuri."

We all greeted each other, just what the doctor ordered for my two whorish friends. I sat down next to Aoi.

"This may sound corny but...I've been hoping to see you here."

"Is that right?" She blushed. So cute.

"Yea."

"...can I ask why?" She asked still blushing.

"Well...I guess it's because I enjoy your company. I like being around you." That hardly covered it but...

"I enjoy your company too."

"Yea?"

"Yes."

We sat there blushing for a minute before Yuri chimed in. "Hey so can you guys get with the number exchanging. You like each other, what are you waiting for?"

I looked at him with murder in my eyes and he stuck his tongue out like a brat.

"Um..."

"Would that be OK?" I asked.

"Sure. I'd like that a lot."

"Yea?'

"Yea."

I pulled out my cell phone, as did she and we exchanged numbers. Kei and Yuri called out to me from the door. "I owe you a dance later OK?"

"Yea, I'll hold you to that." She smiled a sweet smile that kind of gave me butterflies. I smiled back at her and started towards the guys. "Well would ya look at our Little Yagami. Conversing with girls, dancing, getting numbers. God what is the world coming to?" Yuri said.

These guys sure had jokes this evening.

I smiled as we continued back downstairs, bumping into Kiyomi and her friends. Kei and Yuri just had to stop to talk with her friends so that forced me to talk to Takada.

After about 30 minutes of that we went back towards the food table. I wanted more chips. I noticed that crowd again. What the hell was going on over there? I wouldn't be huddled in the same place for this long. "What going on man?" Kei asked referring to the crowd of girls.

"Yea that's what I want to know."

"Forget it." Yuri said and we walked back over there.

When he got close enough to see who it was I was actually surprised. I half expected it to be an idol or something like that but this was just an ordinary guy.

OK well he wasn't ordinary. He was a little on the weird side but had this air of mystery about him.

"Oh it's that guy."

"Who is he?" I asked.

"You don't know who that is?"

"No." Yuri and I said.

"That's Rue Lawliet, Or L as the girls call him. They flock like this all the time when he's around be it a coffee shop or the mall, he sure knows how to captivate the ladies."

"This guy?" Yuri asked.

I looked at him again. He was tall, a little taller than me, with wild messy looking black hair and big spacey eyes. He wore a thick gray sweeter that was hanging onto him for dear life and dark jeans. This was the guy they were flocking over? I will admit he did have a very captivating aura about him but he was nothing special at first, second, or third glance.

"What's so special about him?"

"Yea, and does he even go here?"

"Yea, he's our age-"

"A freshman pulling girls like that?"

"He's not the university's freshman; he goes to the engineering school on the other side of the campus."

"He's in Grad school already?"

"Wow." I said.

"Well I could see a little why the girls would like him. But the bags under his eyes...a little hard to find attractive."

"Says you. This flock of girls says it's sexy." Kei laughed and walked away, Yuri followed him.

I was still staring at the weird guy, Lawliet.

I took him in more trying to understand girls' taste these days when I met his gaze. He looked at me then looked away as If I was some random nerd in the crowd.

Rude bastard.

He could have at least smiled or nodded or something.

Whatever.

I walked away and found my boys talking to some guys I knew from class. I wasn't really paying that much attention. My mind was on two things. My dance with Aoi and that rude ass guy Rue Lawliet. He sure is weird.

Captivating, but weird.


	3. Cameos

The tests were a breeze.

Well, at least for me.

"Damn dude! I thought I was taking a college freshman's test. Not a super genius' test!" Yuri complained.

"That was a freshman's test, you're just stupid."

Kei and I laughed.

"Whatever. You guys wanna go get something to eat?"

"Yea, sure. I'm in the mood for some chips right about now." I said.

"Of course you are, Light."

I smiled.

It's been a couple weeks since the South Hall Party and people are still talking about it. I must admit, it was really fun; I'm still talking about it.

Yesterday, Aoi and I hooked up. Just to talk more than school, like we usually do.

She's so sweet and easy to talk to, its weird how I never really noticed her that way before. Well not completely. She told me how much she liked me and was too shy to approach me.

I told her how I liked her too and couldn't stop thinking about her recently. We continued to talked for a while before going out to a little restaurant in town and then seeing a movie.

I took her back to her place, before it got too late. \When we got there, I kissed her cheek and she turned beet red.

When I got home, I texted the boys and a half a second later I was answering a 3-way call from them.

Hopeless.

They made me promise, today, that I would actually talk to Aoi at school. As if I wouldn't. She was on my mind all night and this morning; she's on my mind now.

The guys and I went to a little cafe just off of campus a little while later and I was a little hungrier than 'only potato chips' so I ordered a sandwich to hold me over until dinnertime.

When our food got there, about 10 girls came running in and went directly to the back.

Kei smirked, as did Yuuri but about 5 minutes later they realized that talking to these girls was out of the question.

Rue Lawliet walked in and joined the girls.

I hate that guy.

"Oh, damn- it's him again. I don't like this crap. How are we supposed to get the girls if he's always coming around? What's his name again? Bruce?"

"Rue." I said correcting him.

"Wow, looks like he has another fan."

"Whatever. It's just a name you can't forget- unless you're an idiot." I said defending myself.

"Yea, sure."

We continued to eat our food and I continued to sneak looks at the "Rue Fan girl" group, which is getting bigger by the moment. Even the damn waitresses were ogling him.

What's so great about this guy? I mean, come on, look at him. He's a borderline freak. Every time I see him he's in the blandest clothes you've ever seen. Like now, he has on simple jeans and a black long sleeve shirt. That's it. And we have to note the bags. God, he looks like he's never known sleep- never heard of it. His skin is...well it looks kind of smooth, but he's so pale-white as snow. Well not that pale, but he comes close.

And why does he sit like that? And why doesn't he do something with his hair?

I huffed out loud. Weird.

"Something wrong Light?"

"No, why would there be?"

They looked in Lawliet's direction. "Oh I see. You're jealous. I gotta say- that's a first. Never thought you'd be jealous of a guy getting attention from the ladies. I guess you really are growing up."

"Shut up man." I laughed.

He was way off though. I wasn't jealous. I am sure that I can walk over there and get the numbers of all those girls over there but I don't want to. I'm pissed because of this guy's attitude. He clearly doesn't like any of these girls, so why entertain them?

In the midst of my thoughts, he got up and was walking towards me.

I mean the door.

We locked eyes for a minute and you wouldn't believe this guy chuckled at me before he left out.

"Whoa, what the hell was up with that? Light, did you two get into it or something?"

"No. I don't know that guy."

"Well, he needs to relax." Kei said getting a little upset.

"Its cool guys don't worry about it."

We kept watching him. He was standing on the curb waiting for someone; a taxi maybe. Then a car pulled up in front of him, a nice car.

The top was down and I saw a guy with goggles get out of the passenger seat and into the back. A blond, American looking guy was in the back next to an albino looking kid. And a guy with crazy black hair like Lawliet's, was driving.

"Check out his gang of American friends. They look younger than him though." Yuuri said.

"Yea, but not by that much; the driver looks almost like him. They look like twins." He said, shrugged, and then continued to eat.

I watched as Lawliet got in the car and they sped off. Emphases on sped.

Me and the guys finished up our meal, paid our bill, and headed back to the campus. When we were halfway to math class, we bumped into Aoi.

"Hey you." She said to me and waved at the guys.

"Hey, where are you going?" I said as I hugged her.

"Home; something came up. I'll call you OK?"

"OK...but Aoi?"

"Yea?"

"Isn't your class on the other side of campus?"

"Yea."

"So what were you doing over here?"

She smiled. "I wanted to see you before I left. Is that so bad?"

I returned her gesture. "No, it's cool. Talk to you later then?"

"Yea." She walked away and we headed into class.

Kei was nudging my arm and snickering along with Yuuri.

"What? What is it?"

"Nothing. Just loving how you put the moves on chicks these days. I couldn't be more proud."

I elbowed him and laughed.

After class, I headed home. I was pooped so I went right upstairs to my room and plopped on the bed.

About 10 minutes later Aoi called me. We talked for about an hour and during that time, mom had called up to me for dinner. I told her to wrap it up and I would get to it later. I didn't want to get off the phone with Aoi, or get up, just yet.

I stayed on the phone with her for another 30 minutes or so before I got hungry and it was time for me to do my homework. She said she had to go too. Neither of us had classes tomorrow, so I told her we could go out, if it was OK with her. She said OK and that we can plan in the morning.

That was it. I ran downstairs just as mom was cleaning the kitchen up, reheated my food, and sat down to eat.

"Why couldn't you come down earlier, Light?"

"Oh", I said with a mouth full of food "I was on the phone."

"And that's your reason for not coming to eat?"

"With Aoi."

She smiled. "Oh and how is Aoi by the way?"

"She's good. I'll tell her you asked about her."

"When are you going to bring her over?"

"Whenever we have time, mom; relax."

"OK, OK. I'm just curious."

I finished up my food, kissed my mom, and went to do my homework. Of course it took no time at all.

After knocking that out the way, I showered and went to bed.

Before I fell asleep I saw Lawliet get into that car again, and speed away.

I don't know why I thought of that.


	4. Not Too Bad

It was over.

My first year of college went by so fast, but honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. Starting another school year is what I have been waiting for; one step closer to where I want to be.

For the last couple of months, Aoi and I have gotten closer. We've spent pretty much every holiday together, went out of town a couple of times, some with our friends, and so many dates that I can't keep count. Of course, after I tell the good things about us dating, I have to say the bad and that's my mother and Sayu. Who knew women were this annoying? All I did was brought her over to meet them and that's all they talk about now. 'When is Aoi coming back over?' 'How is she?' 'Are you thinking of taking things further with her?' It's too much, even on my brain.

The day before the last day, there was another party at the dorms, this time at 'The Back' Dorms. I took Aoi, and she brought her friends along for the guys to entertain. I was hoping Kiyomi wouldn't be there. It was hard to break the news to her about me and Aoi, only because of her face. She looked totally defeated but there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't and wouldn't pretend to like her or act as thought I'm into her for her comfort. I liked who I liked and that was all I could tell her.

Anyway, things went smoothly because she wasn't there looking at us with slanted eyes, or whatever it is girls do when they can't get a grip on their feelings…or reality.

As for that bastard, Lawliet, I saw him again a couple weeks ago, and the driver in the car from that day. He really did look just like him, his twin maybe? I overheard him tell his fan girls one day, that he was just his younger brother. You know they flocked to him too, right?

These guys.

Anyway, I saw them at the mall. I didn't know they shopped for clothes as expensive as the stores they were going into. Their outfits usually look like cheap knock offs. Lawliet spotted me, I was with Aoi, and waved. It shocked me but I later found out that he wasn't acknowledging me but Aoi. He walked over to hug her and said a bland 'Hello' to me.

"What are you doing here, Rue? You know your fan girls will have a fit that you didn't tell them you were coming out today." She smiled.

"Well, I'm just accompanying my brother today, they won't mind. What's out of place here is you. I've never seen you at a mall before, not since I met you."

"Yea, I usually don't shop that much but Light wanted to buy me something, so I agreed to come here."

"Oh, I see. I heard you were dating him but I didn't believe it."

"Why is that?" She asked.

"Well for one, I don't make it my business to believe rumors, especially not about my friends. I thought it would be a lot more accurate if I heard it from you."

"Well that was nice of you."

"Also, I always got the feeling he was a playboy or...gay."

"GAY?" We said in unison.

"Yes."

"Oh no, I am not gay. Not even a little."

"Well, my mistake. So that means you're a playboy then?"

This guy was really screwing with me. "No, I'm not that either. Aoi is actually the first girlfriend I've had all year."

"Hmm… is that so? Well, I guess I was wrong about you, I apologize."

"Yea, no problem."

His brother cleared his throat.

"Oh, I almost forgot. Aoi this is my younger brother, that I was telling you about, Beyond. This is Aoi and her boyfriend Light."

He said 'hi' to the both of us and we said 'hi' back.

Lawliet looked at his watch, "Well its getting a bit late, we have to get going."

"OK. Are we still on for that day?"

"Yes, as long as you're still free."

"I am", he smiled an easy going smile that I couldn't ignore.

"See you then. Nice meeting you Yagami." He faked a smile at me. His brother nodded and turned away.

"You know that guy Aoi, like, well?"

"Yes. Rue was the first person I met, when I first got here. He helped me find all my classes, and places to relax when I needed a break. He would also help me with my studying, he's really nice."

I huffed. "He calls me a playboy; he's the one with fan girls following him."

Aoi laughed. "You have them too. Just because they don't follow you around like they do Rue, doesn't mean you don't. One of them you kind of know well...Takada?"

"Oh, please."

She laughed and we continued to shop around, while I was still thinking about Lawliet's comment. Gay? Was he nuts?

"So what do you have planned for the summer?" Yuri smiled from ear to ear. I knew where this was going.

"You already know I'm inviting you guys. Don't worry."

He and Kei high fived each other.

"First we have the enrollment ceremony to attend."

The guys groaned.

"Did you have to remind us?"

I laughed. I was actually looking forward to a nice summer break with Aoi and the rest of the gang. I was looking forward to a break period but I had to make sure things were taken care of, before I had my fun.

Summer was here, and Aoi told me she didn't want to do anything in particular.

"…Nothing at all?"

"Nope, whatever you guys have planned is fine."

"Are you sure? The guys can come up with some pretty outrageous stuff."

"It's OK."

So we decided to do something big for out 2nd college summer break.

"So, what do you guys have in mind?" I asked.

"I don't know. What about a trip somewhere? A cruise- anything, but it has to be awesome." Mai added. I looked around for Aoi but didn't see her nearby. I guess she was in the bathroom.

About an hour of discussion and we still had nothing. That's when Aoi came back with a huge smile on her face.

"How about France?"

OK. I was super excited to be in France- of all places- with my friends, but I was not thrilled that Lawliet was the one who invited us. While Aoi was gone, she was talking to him on the phone about our situation. He said that he was going to France with his brothers and that if we wanted to we could come along. Of course, everyone agreed, so I had no choice but to go along with it.

Damn. I didn't want to spend 2 weeks with a weirdo guy who thinks I'm gay and his brothers who are probably just as weird as he is.

"Ooh! Can we go to Disney Land?"

"France has a Disney Land?" Kei asked.

"Yea, didn't you look at your guide?" said Hana.

"No; I wanted to be surprised."

"Suit yourself. Hey, Lawliet, where are we staying?"

"The Four Seasons Hotel."

"Where is th-"

"Holy Crap- that's a five star hotel; you can afford that?" Hana said while skimming through the tour booklet.

"Well, yes. If I couldn't we would have to go somewhere else." He laughed. Jackass.

Over the next few days, we saw sights of Paris and surrounding cities by day and returned to our super rich hotel at night. Again, I was excited to be here, and with my friends, but Lawliet being here, wasn't high on my list. His brothers were here too but you hardly saw them. When you did, they were under Lawliet like legs on a table. How the hell could you deal with that all day? The youngest looking one, Nate, was really weird. According to Aoi he just started his first year of college and here he is with robot toys and train sets-never seen that before. Not to mention how he looked no more than 8 years old...and that white hair. I couldn't be natural.

"Not going with the rest of the group?" Lawliet said from behind me. I was on the balcony just taking a rest.

"Nah thought I'd sit this one out, what about you?"

He sighed. "I have been running all over the place with either Aoi and the gang, or my little brothers. I will also have to sit this one out," he smiled. That was the first time I'd seen it so easygoing. I returned the gesture and continued to sit in an almost comfortable silence.

"...So, um...have you ever been to France?" he asked me.

"Nope, this is my first time, you?"

"Kind of; my dad moves around a lot. America, Brazil, Spain, you name it. I've been to a lot of places."

"Sounds pretty cool. What does your dad do for a living?"

"Oh, he's retired, but he used to be an inventor."

"Wow. So what is he, enjoying his retirement?"

"Yea you could say that. We tag along with him because, well, it beats staying home."

I laughed along with him. "Yea, it sure does. I wish I had the opportunity to see the things you did."

"Maybe you will one day." There was emptiness in that statement and it didn't feel like it was directed towards me. I have noticed the look he's had all day…like he's been trying to reconcile with something.

"...hey Lawliet, what's up, I mean really? I know you just didn't come out here because...there was a reason right?"

"...yes. Actually there was," he sighed, "I just wanted to apologize and make some attempt to get to know you. I realize since we've met I haven't been exactly the nicest host but I would like to at least make an effort. Whether you or I like it or not, we are connected and will see more of each other."

"Connected?"

"Aoi: she's your girlfriend... and a really good friend of mine."

"Ah, I see."

"...So..."

"Yea."

He stuck out his hand. "I'm not usually good at these sorts of things but...Hi, my name is Rue Lawliet."

"Nice to meet you; I'm Light Yagami," I said clasping his hand. From then on out, that little riff in between us disappeared and that night I couldn't help but think about the situation. That wasn't such a bad thing he did; not at all.

That Lawliet...he's not too bad.

During the second week we all, including the brothers, went out and had more group fun. Lawliet was dead set on saving the best places for last. Like today, we were going to Euro Disney- tomorrow and the next day too. I had never seen girls act this way. I mean, I went on a couple dates to amusement parks but this was something out of this world. Every two and a half steps we were stopping to take a picture of that and this; stopping to go here instead of there. It was a mess and we male folk were being put through the ringer.

"Damn, can we stop now," Mihael, Lawliet's brother, said.

"Stop for what? What did you see," The girls asked eagerly.

The guys sighed, "Never mind." Mihael said. Smart man; fighting with chicks during a time like this is suicide.

"Just suck it up." Beyond said.

It was really fun I had to admit. I wasn't into getting on roller coasters but everything was great. If I have the opportunity again, I would definitely come back here.

With only 4 more days of our trip we began to wrap things up, starting with going to The Centre Pompidou, Kei and Yuri's choice. The next day we took up on the girl's offer and went to Arc de Triomphe. That was one of my favorites. The day before our last day, we went along with The Brothers' (which they have been conveniently called) plan and went to The Cite de Sciences at de I'industrie.

"Are you serious?" Kei asked. They nodded yes like little kids; I had to laugh.

"It's a _science_museum guys."

"Yes, a _hands-on_ science museum."

"...really," Kei asked, a little more interested.

"EW! What kind of stuff goes on in there? In my experience, anything having to do with science is gross," Hana blurted out.

Well they dealt with it. Interactive anatomy exhibits and all.

We all knew on the final day we would be going to The Eiffel Tower, Lawliet's choice, but what we weren't expecting was a 3 part outing.

"What do you mean three-part?" We asked.

He smiled that smile again. "You'll see."

And we did.

He said he chose 'Option 2'.

First, we boarded the Marina de Paris. I had never had dinner on a boat before and this was a great way to introduce me to it, and I might be a little spoiled because of this. While we ate dinner the tour guide would point out popular attractions...some we saw but they looked so much cooler from the water. Yes, the water. We were sailing down The Seine during all of this and I had to say, I was impressed.

After we ate, we headed to the infamous Eiffel Tower, to the top floor. We had seen a nice view from The Arc de Triomphe, but this one blew that one away. It was as if you could see the entire city...and even into the next. I felt Aoi loop my arm and squeeze my hand a bit.

"This is nice." She said.

"Yea, it is...That's one hell of a friend you got there."

"Yea, I owe him big for this. There's no way I could have afforded all this."

"No kidding." I found myself thinking about Lawliet. Not because I was really grateful to him but because of the way he looked in our direction. His face is usually blank as a piece of notebook paper, but this time it revealed something. Regret? I don't know, but I may just have to ask him.

After that tour, we headed to our final sight of the night, The Moulin Rouge. The show was amazing. I'd never seen anything like it, not even back home.

With all the half dressed women dancing on the stage, I just knew Kei and Yuri were having a ball. I looked over at the two of them; I was right. As for me, well I couldn't honestly say that I was all that worked up over seeing them. I mean they were beautiful, no doubt, but it took a little something more to excite me.

After the amazing show, we headed back to our hotel and crashed shortly after we talked a little about our day and visit to France. I couldn't sleep so I went back out on the balcony. Lawliet was there again.

"Can't sleep?" I said from behind him this time.

He smiled and shook his head no. "Seeing as though you are here, the same must be for you."

"Yea, I don't know why, but I just can't."

He stuck a plate out at me. "Cookie?"

"Nah, got any chips?"

He made a face. "No, but my brother Mail might. You can ask him for some of those dreadful things."

I laughed and remembered Lawliet saying that he wasn't such a big fan on anything contain less than 10 grams of sugar. I guess he was really serious.

We sat sitting for a while before I worked up a nerve to ask him about earlier.

"Oh, you saw that," He smiled faintly.

"Yea, what was up with that?"

"Nothing, I was just thinking about you and Aoi is all...I'm glad she has you."

I don't know why, but that didn't seem genuine. "Is that so?"

"Yes. She most certainly seems perkier when she's with you- I like it."

I smiled. "You think you're going to lose your friend is that right?"

He smiled back. "No, I think I'm going to move on."

"Huh?"

"...I never told her or anyone else but, I have liked Aoi since the first time I saw her."

Now that was a shock. He didn't seem like the type that was interested in any one girl, but...

"You like her?"

"Yes. In the beginning, I didn't have the courage to approach her but by the time I did, she had already found you."

I guess that was the reason for his entire jackass attitude before. "I never would have guessed."

"...Anyway. I have decided to let go and let her be happy with whoever she wants."

"That's pretty noble of you Lawliet," teased a little.

"Thank you."

We sat in more silence, before we got up to try to go back to bed.

That night, all I thought about was Lawliet and Aoi. I wondered how much this would affect their relationship- or if it would at all.

That was really a stand up thing he did. He really wasn't so bad...not bad at all.


	5. The Stresser

Before we knew it summer was over, we were back in class, and half the year had gone by again. Amazingly, Lawliet and I- well Rue, had been hanging out, and a lot. He's actually more fun to be around that Kei and Yuuri, but I would never tell them that. I would include them in our outings if they wanted but most of the time they said no. Why? No girls involved.

I got to meet his dad and he came over to meet my parents. He still had that way with the ladies; that way that got their full attention pretty much the entire time he was there. My dad made sure to keep him as far from Sayu as possible and to limit his visits.

Surprisingly, I haven't seen that much or wanted to see that much of Aoi. It made me feel bad that I would brush her off for Rue, but he was just so fun to be around. Sometimes the three of us would go out or she wouldn't be there, but the majority of the time, if I wasn't in class I was with him. We even studied together. It was weird, because one day we are side eying each other and the next we are hanging out at the mall and stuff; weird, but cool. He and I had so much in common and it was great that I could talk with someone who understood half the things I was saying, instead of pretending to.

I little before Christmas, while we were shopping for presents for everyone, we ran into a couple of fan girls. Remember the ones I said I never knew I had? Well, once word spread around that me and Rue were friends, you wouldn't believe they came out in droves; even banded together with Rue's fan girls.

The World of Women.

They practically begged us to take the presents they offered and if it wasn't for Rue, I don't think I would have. I think I would have run away. Anyway, that was actually the first time that happened to me in college. There was a small Light Yagami Fan Girl Club back in high school and junior high, but that wasn't as serious as this. These women were a lot different, in lots of ways.

I dropped Rue off at home and he gave me my present and a little something for Sayu and my parents. I gave him something for The Brothers and his dad and headed home. All of us spent New Year's together. It was a serious deal for Rue who had, surprisingly, never spent New Year's in Japan. He would always go back home to England or to New York in America to see the Ball Drop. I wanted to see that too, sometime in my life.

In early February, something happened to me that scared me, almost stiff. Valentine's Day was nearing and I was thinking about a gift. But it wasn't for Aoi, it was for Rue. At first I thought that it was because I was just used to celebrating things with him but then I took a look into things a little more. My attitude with Aoi is almost completely different. I hardly see her the way I saw her before. When I dug deeper I realized that I didn't like her that way at all, in the beginning. It upset me because I'm not one to play around with people's feelings; that's just not me. But that's what I have been doing, apparently. I found myself wanting to be closer to Rue than any other person, and that was a job within itself. His brothers, especially Beyond, stuck to him like glue and didn't really accept 'outsiders' into the fold.

"Maybe it's just because I've never had a connection like that with anyone else...I mean, I did always want a brother," I said while doing my homework one day. That had to be it. There was no other reason for it.

When Valentine's Day did get here, I spent the day with Aoi and that night I saw Rue. Well, he told me to come over, since I said I had nothing to do.

I made up my mind to give him the present, it was no big deal. I mean, it wasn't candy or a teddy bear or anything like that. Just a watch I saw him looking at one day we were at the mall.

"Thanks," He said and moved to get me a box he had under the table in his living room.

It was a shirt I saw at a designer store...one that I couldn't have dreamed to afford.

"Thanks; you didn't have to though."

"It's alright...I'm sure Aoi and your fans will love it." He smirked.

I felt my stomach flutter, and it didn't stop, not even when I went home.

A little before the end of the year, Aoi asked me about our relationship. I told her everything was OK, even though I felt butterflies in my stomach every time I thought about or heard Rue.

"Are you sure?"

"Yea, why wouldn't it be?" I said and kissed her forehead. These last couple of days I couldn't bring myself to kiss her lips and I hid that fact as best as I could.

She smiled at me. "I want you to come over tonight."

"Really?"

"Yes," she said with this weird glimmer in her eyes. I went along with it and after school brushed Rue off, for a change, and went over to Aoi's place.

"Are you hungry?"

"Yea, a little bit."

I don't know what she planned to make, but I was hungry enough to eat almost anything.

She came back with a spread of food, more than enough for two people. "Eat up."

"Are you sure," I said already starting to eat.

"Yea, go ahead."

We ate, watched a little TV, talked a lot, and before I knew it I was kissing her. Or she was kissing me, I don't know.

She was really into it, not like she normally was, all shy. I didn't know how to react to that. I like the feeling of her controlling things but...

Then she traced her hands down my leg...to that. I jumped.

"What's wrong, Light?"

"Nothing...I promise," I put a smile on but in all honesty, I was not comfortable, hardly. I mean I felt like I was ready for sex, but now, I didn't see it being with Aoi. I didn't know who it would be with anymore...

I kept kissing and rubbing on her, hoping that I would get myself into it. I was hard but not really that focused on her the way a guy should be during a time like this.

She sat me up a little and took my shirt off before taking her pants and underwear off, her shirt still covering most of her body. She climbed back on top of me and I kissed her back again trying to get into her. I tried to take control of her but found that when she was in charge I got more into it, so I left it up to her.

Soon after, we were naked and she moved down and grabbed my rod and slipped it in her mouth. I liked the feel, but it was still weird to me. Besides the fact that I have never done that before, it didn't feel natural. I expected myself to be set on fire from the inside- I wasn't.

As she continued I got more and more uncomfortable and then I felt her position herself over me.

I flipped out and pushed her off of me.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

I didn't say anything; just put my pants back on as fast as I could. I skipped the drawers.

I gathered up my clothes and hurried out the door, after I told her "I'm sorry."

I didn't get it. I didn't get me.

I told myself that all I wanted was Aoi. To move forward in my life with her, that's all I wanted. So why was I rejecting her? Why did I push her way like that?

Why was I in Rue's room right now?


	6. Silly Boy

For the next few months, after I told Rue what happened with Aoi, I battled with my fan girls, the entire student body over why I dumped her, my family, and my sexuality. I didn't think that would be or ever was a problem in my life until a week ago when I spent the night over Rue's house, again, and I watched him undress to get in the shower. I kept it hidden from him as best as I could. The last thing I wanted him to know was that I looked at him that way.

But I did. I took in the grooves and curves of his, slim but otherwise, muscular body. How the valley that disappeared beyond his boxers, excited me in ways no one has ever done before. Not even those half naked girls in the books I sometimes peek into.

When he got in the shower, I, like a pervert, peeked inside to watch him bathe, before the glass fogged up too much. His back was to me so I'm sure he couldn't see and I was somewhat thankful for that- somewhat.

I wanted him to turn around so I could see more of him but by the time he was getting ready to, the thick fog made it hard to see him.

"Damn," I said to myself and walked back over to his lounge chair.

I didn't really think about or realize what I was doing until after I took a seat. Why was I watching Rue in the shower? I mean if he was a girl this would still be creepy, but not as much. He was a guy and I wasn't gay so...

I never and still don't think of myself as gay. To me, being gay is being attracted to men, right? Well, I wasn't. It was just Rue and I didn't know if I was truly attracted to him.

Could my behavior still pass as homosexual? I wanted to know and was hoping that something would justify my actions but in the back of my head I already knew. Nothing could or would justify this. I was attracted to a man, sexually and emotionally on most days. I dreamed of having sex with him, when a couple months before I couldn't even touch a girl. I watched his lips whenever he'd talk; wishing I could latch onto one of them, with my own lips, and taste the sweetness in his mouth.

Most of my time, lately, has been spent on the Internet, looking up sexual desires for men and stuff about homosexuality. I made sure my door was locked just in case someone, mostly Sayu, wouldn't barge in. I found this one article about a guy who slept with this one guy, even had an emotional attraction to him, yet he didn't _feel_ gay, like me. I like Rue, really, but I couldn't stand the thought of being with another guy. Kei, Yuuri, or any guy for that matter, it makes me sick to my stomach.

I saw another one that said having emotional feelings between men is natural BUT being with them in a sexual manner is considered gay. Another said he was sleeping with several other guys but wasn't emotionally drawn to any of them, which meant he wasn't gay. Emotional attachment equals, gay, he says.

I was lost. Which one was true? Which one wasn't?

And how would I deal with this? Should I tell Rue how I feel? I was scared to and I didn't even know if I should, or if this was just a phase.

What if he was OK with it, should I try to pursue a relationship with him? What would everyone-my parents, his dad, Kei and Yuuri-think?

I didn't think I could battle with my feelings about Rue AND what everyone else thought about me at the same time. I kept going back to my father. I know he's going to be livid, IF I come out about this.

At school, everything was almost back to normal. I would still get partially harassed by girls asking to go out with them. I would still get agitated my Kiyomi, acting as though she's playing it cool, until she thinks the time is right to ask me out. I still saw Aoi in the hallways and parking lot; she wouldn't say anything but I know she's still torn up about our break up-she told Rue and he told me. But for the most part I hardly paid attention to school, just Rue.

"You don't seem like yourself these days Light," He asked one day while pouring practically a bag of sugar into his coffee.

"What do you mean?"

"You always have this worried look in your eyes, or you space out for long periods of time. Not to mention the fact that I haven't seen you that much these past couple of days."

"I've been checking some stuff out, sorry."

"Like what?"

"Nothing that important, really."

"...That annoys me too."

"What?"

"You're secretive."

"No, I'm not."

He sighed, "OK..."

"Are you mad?" My chest tightened. I didn't want him to be mad and I didn't want to lose the only connection I had with him especially since it may be the only.

"No, I just wish you would tell me what's wrong. We're friends right?"

_I wish we were more_. "Yea, of course, why wouldn't we be?"

He shook his head and drank his coffee. My eyes went to his neck standing out of his loose fitting shirt. I wondered how he got his clothes to stay on him like that. I mean, anybody can wear baggy clothes, but the way he did it made him seem so...

"Sexy."

"Hm, did you say something?"

"Uh- No, just thinking aloud," I fake laughed.

It was funny how the things I used to hate about him, became the things I loved…liked; or something.

His fingers, which I used to think were creepy looking, now looked...suckable. I wanted to slip them into my mouth and tease them with my tongue.

His lips, the ones I thought looked bland against his pale skin, now looked appetizing. Probably as sweet as the sugar he eats.

And, God help me, his thighs, which I got to see, were so thick and smooth looking. Well, his legs in general looked appealing. If I could just run my hands along his muscle curves...kiss them maybe...

But I couldn't do that. Not just because I wasn't going to do that in public, I wasn't sure if he even felt the same as I do and I most certainly didn't want to embarrass myself. I wasn't even sure if I was ready or willing to come out about all of this.

Being with him was the only time I felt as if I was happy. I may not be able to say it aloud but I could think it. Thinking about him this way is stressful at times because I can't tell him how I felt, but if I didn't think this way and just held it in or tried to ignore it...I don't know what would happen. At the same time as I feel somewhat of a release, I feel more stress building inside me. So what should I do?

I needed to decide whether I would speak out about this or not. Holding this in has been hell. I can't sleep because every time I lay down, I see him and me, or just him in general. So I'm up, studying or surfing the net, looking at random things to get him off my mind. As if I wanted to though...

I haven't had much of an appetite, and I've lost about 10 pounds. My mom thinks it's because of Aoi-if she only knew the truth. In class the other day, during my test, I passed out from exhaustion and was sent to the nurse. She asked if I was OK and I just told her that I have been studying really hard and haven't been getting much sleep. She told me to take a break these next couple of days and I wanted to tell her that I couldn't, but I just smiled and went to my next class which I wish I could have avoided. The other day we had a test and the professor gave us our results, I got a 67. He asked me was I alright, if everything at home and school were fine and I said yes and assured him this wouldn't happen again. I was pissed and shocked. I had never in my life gotten anything less than a 'B' and that was in elementary school, kindergarten to be exact, because I wouldn't take my nap like the teachers told me. I would hassle Mrs. Takano until the other kids woke up, pissing her off.

Anyway, I told Rue about my 67 today.

"That isn't like you Light," he frowned, "are you sure everything is alright?"

"I swear. I just been studying so much-"

"Well according to this test, you haven't been studying that much at all." He looked so concerned. That was part of the reason I was liked him so much. He always seemed generally worried about me. Always so ready to make sure I was OK.

I smiled at the thought. "I really have been, honest."

He shook his head, slapped the paper back at my chest, "Whenever you're ready to talk about what the hell is bothering you, let me know," and walked away.

What the hell just happened?

My voiced cracked the first time but I called out to him again, "Rue!"

He kept on walking and with every step he took, I felt my spirit break. It was nothing new though. I always felt miserable when I wasn't with him. But his time I wasn't so 'OK' with it. He was actually mad at me. I had pissed him off and I didn't know whether I should chase after him or not.

I walked into the house about two hours later. It took me a while to collect myself and go home. On the drive home, I called him to apologize.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing is wrong-"

He hung up. It kept going on like that for the rest of the night before I gave up. He wouldn't talk to me, unless I came out about what was wrong with me.

But I wasn't ready yet.

The next day at school, I saw him. He saw me and kept going to his next class. I called out to him again and this time chased after him. I grabbed his arms and he snatched it away,"Are you-"

"No, I'm not ready but come on. You don't have to be mad at me."

He sucked his teeth and continued walking. I left it at that, for now. I wasn't going to let him be mad at me forever and I wasn't going to keep him in the dark about my problems. Besides, he's the reason for everything going on with me anyway, he deserves to know.

"Wow, I didn't know we were still friends." Yuuri nudged me.

"Of course we are."

"Well, you've been hanging with Lawliet a lot these days."

"I asked you guys if you wanted to hang with us, you said no."

Kei continued reading his book and smiled. Yuuri shrugged and began talking about Sae, his new girlfriend. They had been going out for about a month and a half; she's all he talks about now.

"Maybe she's the one," I said throwing some of his and Kei's words back at him.

"Oh, there's no maybe about it, she is the one."

I heard Kei laugh. He had a girlfriend too, but wasn't giving up her name. He said we knew her but they weren't ready to come out about their relationship, yet.

Come out...

About a week had passed and I still hadn't heard from Rue. I've seen him around school but he wouldn't say anything to me. One time he was with Aoi and I knew I wasn't going to approach him at that time. The next time I saw him was in the parking lot, getting into a girls car.

Call me jealous, but I felt myself fuming on the inside, maybe the outside too. Seeing him with a girl- a fan girl at that, pisses me off to no end. I didn't know what kind of relationship he and that broad had but...

When I got home, I called again. He didn't answer. So I tried back again and an additional 20 times before he picked up.

"What is it Light, are you dying?"

"This isn't the time to play. Why didn't you answer earlier?" I may have sounded a little more hostile than I had intended.

"I was busy, doing homework, actually studying."

"With who?" I didn't mean to say that but it was far too late to take it back.

"Myself. I used to study with a friend of mine but things with him aren't so solid anymore."

He may have tried to hide it but I heard a little sadness in his voice. He wanted us to be around each other that bad? Butterflies all of a sudden found their way to my stomach. He wanted to be around me. I mean it wasn't like I didn't know he enjoyed my company, but hearing it from him this way, in my current state of mind, makes it a little better for whatever reason.

"Is that all you have to say?"

"..."

"...Light?"

"Yea?"

"Is that all you wanted to ask?"

"Uh...yea."

He hung up, as did I and I threw my phone across the room, rolled up in a ball, and cried. What was wrong with him? No. What was wrong with me? Why was I so worked up about everything all of a sudden? Not too long ago, I couldn't say much of anything and now I see him get into a girl's car and I flip out? What was that about?

I got myself together and went to the bathroom to wash my face.

"Hey, Light, are you OK," Sayu asked on the other side of the door.

"Yea..."

"You sure, it sounded like you were crying."

"No, sis, I'm OK."

She was quiet for a minute before saying OK and walking away. Was I that loud that she could hear me?

I hopped back on the computer to; again, try to get Rue out of my head. When I logged on to check my email, I saw a new message from that site I looked up about homosexuality. It was another post about a guy who sounded similar to me. He went on about how he just recently came out to his crush, family, and friends. He said he had expected his parents, especially his father, to go ballistic but they didn't. It even made their relationship stronger. As for his friends, he said that they told him they didn't care what he was and they still accepted him. Then finally he told his crush. He admitted that it took him a full month to tell him but he felt he had to. He said that he was beginning to lose himself and he couldn't take it anymore. He said when he told his crush about how he felt about him, he rejected him. The crush told him he wasn't into guys and that he was sorry. He said that they could still be friends but he wouldn't pursue an intimate relationship with him. Amazingly, the blogger guy wasn't crushed. He said he would have liked to be with his crush, but just knowing that he didn't treat him coldly made him feel better, along with the support he had from his family and friends. He went on to say that he moved on and found someone who cared about him, the same way he cared about them; he and the crush were still friends, closer even.

His story spoke to me, loudly. Like he said, keeping things inside could take its toll and honestly, it was no way to live. Speaking up could be my stress reliever and it could give me complete peace of mind, more or less. Now, he was happy with the one he loved, dependable friends, and a caring family. Just the words I wanted to hear. I knew that my situation wouldn't be like his but I now had the courage to finally tell Rue how I felt and try to make it that way. It was now or never.

"I'm ready," I said into the phone.

"Are you sure?"

"Yea...yes."

"...The door is open," and he hung up. I don't know why I found that sexy.

When I pulled up to his house, most of the lights were off. I guess everyone else was sleep. I looked up at his balcony and he was there, looking down at me. He motioned me up, with is finger, and I walked into the house, quietly making my way upstairs.

I walked out onto the balcony where he was, completely scared, but completely ready.

"Have a seat."

And I did.

"Are you hungry, thirsty?"

I had completely ignored that dry feeling in my mouth on the drive here, "Yea, thirsty."

He walked over to the little table in the other side of him and poured me what looked like a glass of tea.

He handed it to me. It was tea.

He then sat down in the chair across from me, waiting. I sat my cup down.

"..."

"OK. Um...I know I've been acting weird lately."

"Yes, you have."

"And I was serious, nothing is wrong, per se; it's just that I've had a lot on my mind."

"Such as," He was so intense looking like he was interrogating me.

"I've been thinking about...you, lately." I cringed expecting him to get uncomfortable, but he didn't. His posture and face remained the same. I continued.

"Well, we've been spending a lot of time together...especially since the thing with Aoi, even before that. I feel like I've grown closer to you in a way that may or may not be acceptable between two guys."

"Like what?"

I took a breath. "I've been thinking about you like a guy should think about a girl... in the beginning it scared me because, its wrong, at least that's the way I felt then...now, I don't think it's wrong at all...I like you, a lot."

He sat looking at me for a while then lowered his head. I watched him shift in his seat. There was the lack of comfort. He rolled his shoulders a minute and I waited for the worst. I knew he didn't feel the same about me but, like the guy on the Internet, I had to be brave and speak out about my feelings. It was Okay if he didn't accept them, at least I could breathe easy knowing that I wasn't keeping a secret from anyone. And this way, if he didn't return the feelings, I wouldn't have a reason to tell anyone else. Like I said, Rue was the only guy I felt like this for, so if he rejected me, I could just go on with my life.

He sighed and looked at me,"Hmm?" I thought he asked.

"I like you!" I said again, expecting him to say anything in response.

He sat back in his chair. "Light, is that what you had to tell me?"

"Yes..."

He smiled. "Silly boy, I already knew you liked me."


	7. What now?

I wasn't expecting him to say that to me but there it was. He knew I liked him. He told me that he realized it when I told him about what happened with Aoi.

We spent the next few hours talking here and there before I got the urge to ask, "So, what now?"

"What do you mean?"

"You never told me if you liked me or not."

"...I do."

I almost wanted to jump out the chair and hug him but he had 'But' face.

He went on to tell me that he was emotionally attached to me and had been for a while but he was not sexually attracted to me.

"I have wanted to kiss you for a long time, but sex...the thought is..." He shuddered and at the same time shook away a part of my spirit, again.

"I know that you feel differently, am I correct?"

"Yea," I said.

He made a quick and almost unnoticeable face. I caught it.

"...I wanted to hold you, especially when you were broken up about what you were feeling. I wanted everything wrong in your life to go away and I wanted to be the one to help you get rid of it...I said I've liked you for some time now, and I was going to tell you. Then I saw the way you began to look at me. You paid attention to _certain_ areas of me and I instantly knew what you wanted, so I didn't say anything. I didn't feel comfortable with you anymore but I had to act as though everything was fine. At the same time I felt like you should tell me, that's why I kept asking if you were okay and what bothered you, at all...because I knew...and I wanted you to tell me. I don't know why."

"..."

"..I'm sorry. I hope you won't stay upset with me."

I smiled, "I wanted your feelings and I got them, Rue."

"L."

"Huh?"

"I want you to call me L...when we are together."

"OK," I smiled. I had only heard his fans and his family call him that.

We got quiet again.

"What do you want to do, Light?"

"...I don't know."

"...Can we try?"

"Would you want to?"

"Yes...certain things-"

"I understand."

"Are you sure," He placed his sexy hand on my thigh. I wanted to yell at him. To tell him that it's not OK for him to say that he didn't want to be sexually intimate with me, and then touch my thigh, but I didn't.

"Yes."

He smiled, leaned over, and kissed my cheek. Sparks kicked off my face and I felt my thighs set off with an almost burning desire to be gripped.

"Are you leaving," he asked, his head resting on my shoulder.

"Mmm-mm."

"Lay with me?"

I nodded and he stood up, taking my hand into his and leading me to his bed. I sat down and he pushed me back. "I said 'lay' Light." Again he sent me reeling, but I went along with it and lay across his bed. He laid next to me and I scooted closer to him.

This wasn't so bad. I mean I could go for him rubbing all over my body, but this was good too- great actually. I mean what more could I ask for? I was accepted by my 1st true love, we were holding each other in his bed, with a nice view of the sunset. This was amazing.

I pushed into him more and began twirling his hair around my fingers…so soft. I ran my other hand over his smooth and undoubtedly tasty lips. I wanted them- bad.

Before I could finish that thought, he had closed his mouth around mine and was sliding his warm and wet tongue against mine.

"Mmm," I heard him say and I fought the urge to climb on top of him. Instead, I brought my hand up to his face and massaged it, and teased his hair with the other hand. Technically, this was my first real kiss. I had never kissed a girl no more than 3 seconds, Aoi excluded, so this feeling I was experiencing was something out of this world, also a first for me.

He brought his hands around my back and ran them under my shirt, teasing my skin with his nails. I wanted to grind him so bad but I didn't want to ruin anything. It's funny how sexually expressive I've become. I remember when I couldn't get this far...it didn't matter.

We continued kissing and rubbing our hands over each other until he moved to my neck. I didn't know what to do; it felt...more than good. All the times I watched Rue-L get to work on an ice cream cone, I never _fully_ thought about what he could do to me, if given the opportunity. I knew now.

I grabbed the back of his head and pressed him into me; begging silently and craving him more with every second.

I then pushed him, hard, off of me and climbed on top of him. I immediately got to work on his neck and chest; the parts sticking out of his shirt.

He hissed and pushed my shirt up and down every time he moved his hands over my back.

"Take it off," I whispered.

He pushed me back a little and lifted the shirt off of me. I felt the hesitation in his movements and I saw in it his eyes, but he still went for it. I took his shirt off too and he pulled me down to his lips again. I swear I've never tasted anything so sweet.

We kept at it until it was almost 'pitch' outside, and I climbed off of him.

"What," he said, lust practically oozing out of him.

"You don't want to stop for a minute? I gotta catch my breath."

He pouted and let my belt loop go.

I smiled at him, "Where is everyone anyway," I couldn't help but think, since he left the door wide open while we were making out.

"Gone, why?"

"I can't ask?"

"No," he teased, "I shouldn't have told you, since you stopped kissing me."

"You want me to die?"

"By my hand...I mean lips...maybe."

I punched his arm and he pulled me back down on the bed. "Oh no, come on," I laughed.

"As if you don't want to..."

Well he got me there. "But I'm hungry and you should be going to fetch me something to eat."

"Me? Fetch? You're not a guest anymore, Light."

"Says who? We do things differently here in Japan. You're supposed to tend to your guests needs."

"Oh, yea? Well, inside this house we follow our European rules and that means get your own food."

I pouted and he shrugged, "I invented that."

"Is that right," I said shoving him and getting up. I didn't want him to get anything for me. I just wanted to play around. He knew that.

"Yea," He said, grabbing my hand and following me downstairs.

I opened his refrigerator, studied the contents, and decided on the cake that called out to me.

"Oh! Hey, wait! You can't eat that!"

"It's your dad's," I said moving to put it back.

"No, it's mine. Specially made, I'll have you know."

I cocked my head to the side and took the cake back out.

"You deaf?" He said in English slang.

"You stingy," I said as he did and stuck my tongue out at him. I was going to get a slice of this cake whether he liked it or not.

"Do that again and see where it gets you."

I smirked. Our 'ice breaking' make out session really brought out the flirt in Rue.

L.

"..You want some?"

"It's my cake, why wouldn't I want any?"

I glared at him.

"Yes, Light. I would like a slice of cake," he huffed.

"Nice to know who's in charge here," I said and sat on his lap, face to face.

"Yea, me."

"No, me!"

"You think so."

"I know so...keep talking and you're not getting any cake."

"..."

"I thought so," I sliced a piece and put it in his mouth.

At around 2am we finally got sleepy. By that time his dad and brothers got back from, where ever they were. I didn't ask.

"Out," L told his brothers.

"Aw come on."

"No, we are going to bed. Leave."

Three out of four left, grumbling about how mean L was.

"Something wrong," L asked Beyond.

"I don't wanna..."

I laughed.

"I don't care, just go. I'll see you in the morning."

"That's not fair. Light gets to stay in here."

"Well, he sleeps in here, remember?"

"I used to do that too."

"Yes, when you were in your 12's and 13's. You're a man now."

"…just barely, though."

L sighed, "Goodnight."

Beyond huffed and stomped out of the room. He was 20, yet he still acted like a kid. I laughed again.

L walked to the door and locked it.

When I stayed the night I always stayed in L's room. He had a huge futon in the den attached to his room, and I would sleep there. I smiled to myself again. _Not anymore._

L walked back to the bed and laid back. I smirked at him and got back on top of him.

He bit my ear lobe and pressed my body into him.

"Light…" He said. Right. Next. To. My. Ear.

"Hm?"

"Kiss me."

I spent the rest of the night kissing my crush and think about our relationship.

Yea. I'll try my best at it and see where we go. If things progress nicely, then, well...that's when the hard part comes: telling everyone.

**AN:**** Yes, Yes, I know.**

**You: "Lizzie you had better put some sex in this story before I hunt you down and kill you!" :(**

**Me: Okaaaayy...**

**No, but really, I can't do one of those stories that have L and Light like:**

**L: You're Kira and I fucking hate you!**

**Light: I'm not Kira and fuck you! I don't even like you!**

**Two seconds later: SEX, *pant*SEX*pant*, SEX*pant*, SEX; GIANT BUTTSEX SCENE!**

**I'm always like "WTF? Weren't they just going at each other's throats?" xD I never believed if L and Light were to ...sorry I started drooling just thinking about it. I never thought they would just hop out with sex, just because the op was there or because they were handcuffed together.**

**Sorry, but I have to add a little background to it, I hope it's not making it boring. There has to be a small something there first right?**

**Story aside? *coughs* Light is attracted to L *coughs*...seriously. It's hard for me NOT to believe that. It may not be sexual but he is; I'm telling ya.**

**Anyway, don't worry; sex is coming! L x Light is my drug as well...I shall assist in keep us all high. xD**


	8. Daddy

It had been about 4 months since I confessed and we have decided that we would tell our families now.

So I have to say that I spent the whole 4 months egging L on to have some type of sex. He broke last night and let me go down on him. I didn't really know how. I mean I've seen girls do it and I have getting into gay porn lately but experience was always the best teacher, along with L. Once he got over his 'motions' he guided me through it, telling me how he liked it. In the beginning it was "Watch your teeth." Then it went to "Don't rush it." And finally "Damn, Light." followed by a grunt or hiss.

I was mesmerized by the taste of him but scared of the size. I didn't think I could do that much of a good job if it didn't sit comfortably in my mouth. Once I got the hang of it, it was like a drug; gave him some more this morning too.

"I'm scared." L said to me.

"You don't have to do this today, if you don't want to."

He sighed. "But I can't keep this in any longer."

"Don't do it because you can't take it. Do it because you feel that you're ready."

"..I feel ready, more or less."

"Then take a breath and remember to talk as slowly and evenly as you need to. I'll be there for you."

He nodded and stood in front of the door for a while, before sticking his key in.

When he opened the door, the first person we saw was Beyond, he smiled widely. "Where have you been?"

Me and Rue have been sneaking around wherever we could, to indulge each other. My dad got some free time off of work, so I couldn't sneak him in during that time. His father was home for a while and I couldn't come over here.

"I was over Light's house. How are you?"

"OK now," He smiled some more.

I wonder what would happen when he heard what L had to say.

"Where is everyone," L asked.

"In the den, what's up?"

L turned to me, "Can you wait out here? I think I want to do this alone."

"Are you sure?"

"Yea, in case he gets mad we can just get up and leave...I don't think he would be that upset."

He didn't sound too sure himself.

"Okay." I went over to the foyer and sat down. L walked away with his brother and I heard him call out to everyone else. This was it.

I sat there for what seemed like a day before I heard his dad call out to him.

"You say what?"

My heart skipped a couple beats. I heard L say something softly in hopes that he would calm down but he just kept yelling.

"You're doing what with whom? Are you joking? You have to be."

"No, dad, I'm not."

"..You faggot!"

"..."

"What they hell is wrong with you? ...And why in the hell did you tell me this? I don't want to know what you've been doing with that damn boy you're with!"

"I thought I should tell you, I'm sorry."

"...You're fucking disgusting...get out."

"Dad, please if you could just listen to me. I'm not any different, I'm still L-"

"You are different L. You're gay." Mihael said his voice so soft.

"I'm not...I'm still the same. I realize you don't approve and I don't expect you to accept it but could you-"

"Get out L. You can't stay here anymore.

L didn't say anything back.

"Why are you still standing here? Go!"

"..I can't stay here? What do you mean dad?"

"I mean you can't fucking stay here! I will not have a faggot living in my house and I damn sure won't have you and that other faggot in here doing God knows what else. Leave-now!"

"...but-I-Where would I go? Why can't I stay here with you?"

I put my head down. Hearing him like this is unbearable. I got up and walked into the room. "Come on L." I grabbed his arm and he yanked away.

"No! Dad, can you just listen for a minute? What's so bad about it? I'm not gonna try anything or-"

"What part of leave don't you understand Rue? I cannot condone and will never condone your lifestyle...I thought you would turn out a lot differently than this...Leave. I won't say it again."

"Come on L, let's go Okay?"

"No." He kept pulling away from me and pleading with his father. I didn't understand why.

The last time I grabbed his ar m he yanked again and walked over to his father and hugged him...well, he tried to. His dad pushed him back hard to the floor. "Don't touch me!"

But he wouldn't stop. He kept running back to him and reaching out to him until finally his dad just grabbed him up and pushed and shoved him towards the door; still screaming for him to get his faggot ass out and to take his faggot boyfriend with him. Rue dropped to the floor about half way to the door and latched on to his dad's leg, begging him to listen and to hug him.

I kept trying to stand L up but he would kick at me and tell me to stop. His brother Mail would trying to get their dad to stop, Mihael too. Beyond stood and watched with this look of hatred to L on his face. Or maybe it was betrayal. Nate ran to his room crying for everyone to stop fighting.

L's dad kicked him out the door. "Don't bring your ass back in here."

L was on the brink of tears. "Dad please, I'm your son."

"Not anymore." And he slammed the door.

L stared at it for a while, still sitting on the step.

"Come on, L, get up. Let's go."

"..Dad?"

"L he's not listening-"

"Dad?"

He stood up and pulled and shook at the door, "Dad?"

"L..." I started but stopped. I couldn't see him like this, but he needed to understand that everyone wouldn't be excepting of his lifestyle.

"Daddy! I'm sorry, Okay? Please, just talk to me. Daddy?"

I pulled L off the handle and dragged him away. He wriggled out of my arms and tried back at the door again.

"No! What the hell is wrong with you? He's not talking, just leave him be!"

L lifted his head up at me and that was the first time I'd seen him cry. He started low and heaving and then burst out as he fell to the ground.

I wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could and he pressed his face against my chest. I rubbed his back and tried my best to console him but really I couldn't. How could you make someone feel better after something like that? How are you supposed to make them smile again after that?

L was still calling his father and every time I heard it, I broke with him, then we were both crying.

"It's going to be Okay."

But was that the truth?

How could things be Okay? He was without the only things he had to show for in life: family, security, and a place to stay. Where could he go? What was left for him?


	9. Unexpected

**AN: Hello there, been a while huh? And to the people who just recently started reading this, 'ello! I have been unmotivated/busy all this time and that's why there haven't been any updates from me. Today marks the end of that. I'll try my best to upload regularly but again, school really is kicking my butt. Again, thanks for reading my story. This 'L suffering' thing will take a positive turn start now. I can't handle it and I'm sure other L fans cannot either. Let me know what you think, puhlease!**

I guided L to my front door and walked in.

"Light, is that you," I heard my mom call out. Once she saw L, her expression changed. "What happened?"

"He's staying here for a while and I'm not taking no for an answer," I said and walked upstairs with him. I didn't care what my mother or father said right now. He was staying here-where else did he have to go? He was my lover and more than that, he was my friend. What kind of a person could I claim to be if I didn't help him? Once in my room, I placed L on the bed and he instantly curled up.

"Are you hungry or anything?"

"..."

I walked downstairs and got him some cookies and juice.

"Light?"

"What ma?"

"...Do you mind telling me what's going on?"

"He had a little family trouble and he's staying here for a bit, alright," I began walking away.

"Light-"

"If you reject him, you reject me," I said and looked her dead in the eye. I couldn't and wouldn't let anyone reject L again; the thought pisses me off to no end. If I have it in my power, I will make sure he is more than well taken care of. I love him and that's more than enough reason to protect him.

While getting him food that I hoped he would eat, I thought about all that went on in his father's house. I twisted my face, huffed and exhaled.

_It's cool._

I just know it won't happen again- from anyone. No one would do that to L again.

For him, I'd kill them first.

Later that night he stayed in my bed but I told him if he wanted time to himself, he could stay in the guest room down the hall.

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"I don't want to be alone, Light."

And I left it at that. I couldn't sleep much, still thinking about his asshole of a father, so I stayed up and watched TV or read. L was far from asleep; staring at the door.

"Anything you need?"

"No."

"Wanna shower or something?"

"...Yes, but I didn't bring any clothes."

"You still have those outfits you left over here."

He nodded and moved to get up looking as though he's carrying avil-heavy pain all over him, or thick mudded pain in his heart that was meant to be painted and stained all over his face. I helped him up and we walked to the bathroom. Everyone was asleep, so I didn't have to worry about them getting in the way. I turned the water on and went to get him a towel and cloth.

"Here you go," I said and brushed his hair out of his face.

"Thank you."

I walked to the door and he grabbed my shirt. "..."

"What's wrong?"

"..."

I walked back over to him then took his shirt and pants off before taking off mine.

I stepped into the shower first and reached out to him. He grabbed my hand, turned me back towards the wall, and wrapped his arms around my waist. L lathered up his cloth and began washing my chest and stomach.

The way he touched me made me want to react in a way I didn't think he wanted to reciprocate in his current condition. But I could imagine it, couldn't I?

He worked his way down and around my back before turning me to face him. I immediately kissed his waiting lips, grabbed the cloth from him and returned to favor. Out of nowhere, I felt his fingers on my butt teasing the dip of it. I knew where this was going and as bad as I was igamining the trip he could have sent me on, as much as I didn't want to say it, I said: "Stop, L."

"You don't want me," he said in a soft and childlike voice he had since he had been at his house.

"Yes, I do. A lot; but this isn't right. You don't want to do this for all the right reasons. I don't want us to have a messed up foundation like that." What I _wanted_ was to kick myself.

"...Ever?"

"No! I mean, I want us to in the future but not when we're so down."

He nodded and kissed my neck, I continued to wash him and he did me next.

"Only one towel…" I said after we got out.

L smiled a little.

I smiled back then wrapped the towel around my backside and around him in the front. We mashed together and hurried to my room as quietly as we could.

I began drying him off with the towel before going to get mine from the closet; we prepared for bed a little while after.

Still, neither of us could sleep.

That morning, Sayu knocked on the door to tell us that breakfast was ready.

"Alright," I barely called out. It sound more like: "aiiiii".

I got up and put some _back_ clothes on. I dressed in my Pj's last night but L took them off and surprised me by flipping me over on my back, propping my butt up and running his tongue into me.

I didn't know what to do, except cry out-in the pillow of course. He violently flicked and thwarted his tongue in and out, around and over me, occasionally sticking a finger inside. At one point, I started begging him to stop. I felt like I was loud and I felt myself coming. Not that it was a problem, I loved it when L made me come but that was never in _my house_ where noisy sisters and curious parents lurked- we were always alone. On top of that, this orgasm wasn't like the others. It felt sharp and prickly, in a good way. It was tight and heavy on my chest and airy throughout the rest of my body. I wanted to say that my toes curled but I couldn't tell if they did. It wasn't like I could look down to see, or if I could see at all. My eyes rolled and closed from the powerful feeling he gave me. I wanted it to stop but then again, I didn't. I wanted to stay this way with him for as long as I could, forget my family or his for that matter.

"Light! You two come down here."

"J-Just a m-m-minute ma!" L was at it again.

I tried to push his head away but he smacked my hand, "Don't do that, Light."

"But we have to...aaahhh...go downstairs."

"In a minute; I'm not done."

I whined and asked him to stop, again, he ignored.

So I gave in. Things could progress a lot nicer and quicker if I participated.

Or so I thought.

Responding back to L only made him get nastier, wilder, and more expressive no matter how much I pushed and bucked against his face in hopes that all he wanted was for me to come for him. He didn't. After I came, he moved up and placed the tip of his member to my mouth.

"Later, Okay?

"..."

"L, come on, please."

"Suck it Light, I'm not playing with you."

What the hell happened to the curled up baby that was crying last night? I sighed and opened my mouth, his sweetness already oozing out of him. I licked it all up before sliding him into me. He hissed and grabbed the back of my head. I continued to move slow getting the 'kinks' out before I went any aster.

"Deeper."

I went deeper.

"Mm, damnit Light," he grunted. I loved the way he sounded when I pleased him.

I went downstairs first to talk to my family before L came down.

"Do not ask about last night, OK?"

"Alright…"

L came down with a sexy smirk on. I turned away from everyone to conceal mine.

"What's for breakfast anyway," I asked. "It must be something good if you guys were bugging us to come get it."

My mom smiled, "It's not that. It's just that you two seemed to have had a rough night last night. I wanted to start you two off with a nice day in hopes that the rest of your day will be just as pleasant."

I smiled at my mom. That was pretty nice.

"Thank you very much, Mrs Yagami. I really appreciate your kindness," L smiled.

Sayu and my mom giggled. My dad cleared his throat.

"Well, Rue, Light has requested that we not talk about what happened last night-"

"Dad!"

"-I won't. I just want you to know that, you can stay here for as long as you need, until you reconcile with your family or you get on your feet."

"Thank you, Sir. I promise not to stay too long."

"It's fine."

L stayed with us for a week and I was very antsy. Why? Well, for the last couple of days we have been talking about our relationship and situation: L wants to leave but I don't want him to.

"Why? You know it's OK if you stay here."

"I don't want to impose."

"You're not-"

"Light."

I sighed, "So stubborn." Or was I the stubborn one? In such a short amount of time, I got used to him being with me all the time that now that he was talking about leaving I couldn't and didn't want to hear it.

So we had to think of what to do to get him on track. Something would work out somehow according to L. "I will work this out, everything will be fine." I wanted to believe him, that life outside of my room would be great but I couldn't kid myself. We were two spoiled kids with no work experience or even some "on our own" experience. L had a Bachelor's degree but he still wasn't finished engineering school. I wondered if that would be enough.

Three days later Mihael and Mail came over. They were telling us about what's going on in the house and what their father told them to tell L.

"He's really broken up," Mail said. Mihael didn't seem to want to look at L, or me for that matter. He probably thinks I'm the reason or all this.

"I know."

"You know this is just as hard on him as it is on you."

"I kn-"

"How," I asked. "He's the one who kicked him out because he couldn't deal with who his son was. He's the one who disowned him and threw him outdoors."

"Light, stop. You don't really understand." L said as he patted my thigh.

"Then explain it to me. How are his actions justified?"

"He's not as mad as he made it seem; he's hurt more than anything. One reason is because L didn't come to talk to him about how he was feeling. Anotha' because, well, that isn't something every parent looks forward to hearing every day." Mail said.

"...And how is he hurting?"

"He misses L," Mihael finally spoke up. "How couldn't he? He's the favorite son; he can never be fully kicked out of his life."

Favorite son- he plays favoritism too?

"That's why hetold us to give you this." He passed an envelope to L and he opened it.

I watched his face change from worry to a smile. "I guess he does care somewhat." He passed the envelope to me. Inside was a deed to a house on the other side of town and a check for a little over 8 million yen.


	10. Big Step

Later that day after the boys left, L and I went over to see the house that his dad gave him.

Let me tell you. When I say this place was nice...it really was awesome. Huge, and it had that Euro design to it. Inside it had 4 bedrooms, 4.5 baths, an ultra-modern kitchen and more space that one person needed.

"Do you like it," he asked me.

"Yea, it's great -its huge, but you don't seem all that surprised by this. "

"Really? Well, I wasn't expecting him to give me this place. He usually keeps his "vacation" homes to himself."

"You've been here?"

"Only a few times, he likes his privacy and this is where he spent it. I guess all my times of whining that I wanted it really paid off." There was another faint sadness in his voice.

"L?"

He quickly turned around and flashed a "I just stole your cake" smile, "Wanna take a tour?"

He's off the hook this time. "Sure."

"Any thoughts," L asked after we saw the whole place.

"Yea, I like the living room area the most, aside from the kitchen. I like the bay window looking out onto the front lawn, the sheer size of the space itself. You could fit one of those...um...what do you call it? Sectional couches! Yea, one of those in here and it'll still have more than enough room for a loveseat and recliner if you wanted.

Black would be nice or charcoal gray. The kitchen is pretty done up already, so all you really have to add is a little table set in the breakfast area and maybe some stools at the counter. The bathroom on this floor should be like a crème and burgundy combo to match the sink and toilet. Oh, and the awesome game room. You could go wild in there. Well...the Brothers would when they come over. The dining room, well, I don't pay too much to dining rooms. I guess you could go with the traditional mahogany furniture...I don't know. Also, about the-w-why are you looking at me like that?"

"No reason in particular, just admiring your interior decorating skills."

I blushed a little at that.

"No need to be shy Light. I was hoping you would give me some insight on this kind of thing. I'm not good at decorating. Mihael, Mail, and dad always did that stuff."

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

"You honestly like my ideas?"

He smiled a devious smile that scared me, my face showed it. There was no way I was having sex in an empty house. If that's what he wanted he was out of luck.

He smiled again and threw some mags at me. I hesitated to look at them but noticed a house on the front of one so I took a gander. They were called House Beautiful Magazine, Better Homes and Gardens, and British House and Garden.

"I found these in the cabinet, do your worst."

Once L and I finished picking out ideas, calling movers and installation experts to come in and change things, he was ready to leave, so was I. The day that he gave me the mags, he asked if I could stay with him, as in move in.

"I want you to live with me Light. I need you."

Of course it took me a half of a blink to say yes.

"What about your family? What will you tell them?"

What else: the truth.

So the morning when L was leaving I sat my parents down to break the news. I was so focused on dad's reaction that I didn't speak for a while.

"Um..." Sayu said.

"Oh, sorry," I didn't want this to end up like L's situation but if it did I was more than willing to walk out of their lives if they wanted me to. I had L. I didn't need anyone or anything else. "We have to talk about the things I've been going through these last couple of days."

"Finally, I was wondering when you would come around to that. Ever since Aoi and-"

"This has nothing to do with Aoi, ma. It's about me and L."

"Are you two in trouble?"

I smiled to myself, "No, quite the opposite actually."

"Huh?"

I took a deep breath. "We have been seeing each other for the last couple of months."

"That's no surprise, you see him every day. For the last year or so-"

"No, ma...We have been dating."

"..."

"..."

"..."

I knew I would get that reaction.

"You're...intimate with him?"

"Yes...and I'm in love with him."

I watched my father shoot up and pace the room. I jumped, thinking he was about to hit me. "You're gay?"

"Yes...I mean, it's not like I like guys...it's just him. I don't know if that makes it any better, but I just can't stand the thought of another man touching me...just him."

"Ok. Ok, Light. I can't hear-", he forcefully sighed.

I understood him.

It was quiet for a long while before Sayu spoke up. "I don't care. You're still my brother and I love you."

I smiled at her and her at me.

"...this is very sudden."

"I understand mom. I know it's a lot to take in and I'm not forcing anything on you, I just wanted to tell you...you know?"

"Why so suddenly," she asked almost in tears; I could see she was having a rough time with this.

"Well, because I'm moving out of the house soon to live with L."

"..."

"I see. Do you think that's a good idea? I mean, it's a very drastic move for such short amount of time."

"I want to be with him dad, I have to be. He means so much to me and just thinking about not being next to him all the time, kills me."

He nodded.

"I'll of course still be in school. I was going to drop out but he made me promise I wouldn't."

He nodded again, and then spoke up, "Is he the reason you broke up with Aoi?"

"In a way I felt for him while I was with her, so I thought it would be fair to break things off if I wasn't sure about what i wanted. Then again, the way I feel isn't something that develops out of thin in air. This is who I am."

The room was silent for a while before my dad added in. He sighed, "I do not accept this way of living Light."

"I understand."

"...But, you're my son. That's something I cannot change. I won't try to either."

"Thanks dad."

"I know you," he smiled, "once you set your mind to something, there's no way to stop you...so I want you to go on and do what you want. If you need anything, please call us."

"I will." I was about to hug him but decided against it. Instead I shook his hand, kissed mom and Sayu before getting into the car with L.

"Ready?"

I smiled, "Ready."

He pulled off heading to his new house- our new house.

The movers had finished setting everything up this morning so we didn't have to do much. I didn't bring all of my clothes; I would get the rest tomorrow.

I was happy to think that. 'Tomorrow'- there was one, and L was in it. I couldn't ask for anything else.


End file.
